The hunt is on for this year’s most gorgeous, finest and keenest Australians, craziest idiots, dackers, fake tanners and tanty-throwers in a con-tentious new awards program led by Con The Fruiterer, the iconic retailer of the legendary comedy series The Comedy Company.
To commemorate the second annual Australia “Summer Stonefruit” Day on January 25th, a special day of appreciation for the country’s dribbilicious peaches, nectarines, plums and apricots and a natural extension of the nation’s official birthday celebrations, Con will be handing out some mouth-watering, rib-tickling alternatives to the official Australia Day Awards.
With seven titles up for grabs, he’s calling on every Australian to make their voice heard by con-templating, nominating, discussing and voting for award recipients at www.facebook.com/AustraliaSummerStonefruit with the lucky winners to be decided by Con, his bewdiful wife Marika, six daughters Roula, Soula, Toula, Voula, Foula and Agape plus their two little gentlemens, Nic and Ric.
“This is all about losing ourselves in the joy of eating my favourite summer fruits, having an extra day off, admiring our finest Australians and poking fun at the plonkers in our midst,” said Con.
“We’ve got the Plum Crazy Award for being a few VBs short of a six-pack, the Nectarine Crack Award for the most amazing dacking or bushmen’s smiles and the Apricot Look-alike Award for fake tans gone bad,” he said.
“The Peachy-Keen Award will honour the finest, dandiest Aussie of the year and the Got The Pip Award will acknowledge the biggest dummy spit. To cap it off, we’ll also be anointing the most gorgeous Aussie woman out there with the Dribbilicious Sheila Award and the coolest, hunkiest Aussie gentleman with the Dribbilious Bloke Award.”
To get your creative juices flowing Con, over a bowl of unbelivit bewdiful summer stonefruit salad, has got stuck in and researched an initial list of con-tenders for each gong.
The Plum Crazy Award
• The Swiss tourist who thought it would be cool to skateboard through Melbourne’s 3.4km Burnley Tunnel http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-06-02/skater-regrets-crazy-tunnel-joy-ride/2742550
• A large number of plankers who took 2011’s biggest craze to new heights…and lows http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/dont-be-a-crazy-planker-say-police/story-e6frf7l6-1226055015980
• And what about the guy originally with – but now well and truly without – the X-Factor? http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/x-factor-winner-altiyan-childs-owes-us-30000-says-angry-your-crew/story-e6freuy9-1226073617450
The Nectarine Crack Award
• The Sharks’ Nathan Gardner, who lost his shorts when being throwing around by the Bulldogs’ Jamal Idris during an NRL match in August http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/bummer-for-jamal/story-e6freye0-1226116386493
• How about Katy Perry’s butt crack dress at the Logies? http://www.celebuzz.com/photos/katy-perry-goes-butt-crack-chic-in-australia-for-logie-awards/
• And the Butt-Crack Beer Robber of Darwin http://www.theuberly.com/just-awesome/crack-gives-away-robber/
The Apricot Look-alike Award
• Rachel Finch at the Fashion Festival Sydney 2011 at the Sydney Town Hall in August http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/insider/rachael-finchs-crazy-orange-spray-tan-turns-heads-on-the-catwalk/story-e6frewt9-1226123530821
• Ian Thorpe announcing his Olympic comeback in February 2011 http://www.theage.com.au/sport/swimming/comeback-king-ian-thorpe-panned-on-twitter-20110202-1ada5.html
• “Biggest Loser” trainer Michelle Bridges at the 2011 Logies: http://www.cocolee.com.au/blog/celebrity-stylewatch/michelle-bridges-at-the-logies-2011-red-carpet.aspx
The Peachy Keen Award
• Miranda Kerr, who combined being a first-time mother with Victoria’s Secret swimwear shoots, keeping David Jones in the news and supporting Kids Helpline
Got The Pip Award
• Ricky Ponting getting angry with fellow fielder Steve Smith as they both went for a catch against lowly Canada at the Cricket World Cup http://www.smh.com.au/sport/cricket/ponting-throws-a-tantrum-as-australia-grind-to-victory-20110317-1bxn1.html
• And an Australia’s Got Talent contestant who threw a hissy fit after being voted off the show: http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/television/australias-got-talent-contestant-chooka-parker-throws-a-tantrum-after-being-voted-off-the-show/story-e6frfmyi-1226098887256
So be heard Australia! Get talking at www.facebook.com/AustraliaSummerStonefruitDay or join the conversation on Twitter #ConTheFruiterer or #AustraliaSummerStonefruitDayAwards.